All this weekend I couldn’t wait for this week to start cuz I have like everything nice and organized and planned out.
Welp, so much for that!
This first thing on my list was to workout today from 8-10, AND THAT DIDN’T WORK OUT! Well, it did for the first 30 minutes due to the stupid power outage -___- So now instead of working out in the morning and getting it over with, I have to go after class at 4. FOUR P.M.!! Ugh, this just ruined my whole schedule for today.
I know you are reading this. And I want you to know I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this is for them. But it’s not. I am writing this for you.
I want you to know, life…it’s hard. Every day can be a challenge. It can be a challenge to get up in the morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. But I want you to know, that smile is what keeps me going some days. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are.
You should be happy. You are gorgeous.
I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. Or that cold February wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means?
I’m so tired of people pretending to care about anything you have to say. but idk, i guess id rather have somebody pretend to care what i say than to not even care at all.
I’ve just been feeling so alone lately. Idk whthere its the lack of people who i think actually care. Maybe it is. I feel like the friends i have right now are only my friends just for the sakeof having friends. They don;t really care about you. They don’t really care about hanging out with yo. They just want you to give them something for them to do. I’m so tired of it. I mean, all this im saying could be completely 100% wrong, but i would still feel like this.
Also im tired of people not caring.
Mom, I talk to you and bring stuff up because I would hope that at lest one person would find interest in my thoughts. Yeah, i have friends for that, but they dont care. they dont show any sign of emotion when i bring something up about myself and even when i do, they change the subject to something about them which, i know, is more improtant and more sophisticated. and it shuts me down. Sure they hear what i have to say, but they don;t care. they only want listen because its polite and because they want me to listen to them when it comes to their turn telling their stories. and it shouldnt evene have to be this way. They should know that they dont have to pretend to care about something that im talking about for me to listen to them. you know why? because i would listen either way.
I just feel like nobody cares. nobody cares about whats going on in my mind. All I’m asking for is a genuine person to come into my life and to actually give a shit about what i have to say and to exchange thoughts and words with.. just feel so alone. I feel like everybody has something great going on in their own lives to take a moment to care about whats going on in mine. I mean, no, nothing amazing is going on but still.
I jsut want to be thought of once in awhile, you know?
This is why me and my first best friend aren’t best friends anymore. She was never happy for me or get excited over something that i was excited for. I could never understand why though. And now I feel like the same thing is happening again.
I feel like one friend has work going on another one has school the rest of my friends have relationships and im just here.
I’m so tired of people listening to what you have to say but they don’t really care. Am I really asking to much when I say that I want a little bit of attention? I just feel like everyones caught up in their own lives to take a moment to be in yours. We live in a world where nobody’s really happy for anybody anymore. They might say that they are, but they’re not. It’s so wrong. I think there are
I don’t need to be friends with people who need to schedule you in.
Like actual books. I haven’t actually read for myself since the summer of junior year going into senior year. Yeah, that’s a real long time ago, I know. But I don’t know. I just remember what it felt like when I read a book, especially one that I really liked. It’s like you take a break from the world for awhile and dive into another person world and it’s just a nice feeling.
So I think I’m gonna start my new years resolution early this year and start now. Oh, and if anybody has any book recommendations, don’t hesitate to on letting me know (: